A Hash House Harriers Odyssey of Endurance crossing Thailand from West to East.
A group of Hua Hin Hashers (H2H3) were gathered around a cooler of iced down beer at the worldwide InterHash in Chiang Mai last year after a hard run in the mountains. After a bit too much time around the cooler, someone became chemically overstimulated and suggested that the Hua Hin Hash do something truly sensational in order to put the young, small and growing hash on the world hashing map. A decision was made to do something a bit unconventional from what the other great hashes in Thailand routinely do. We decided that we would not just have weekly local hash runs in Hua Hin and Cha Am. We decided to run Thailand. At the time of our inspiration, the Thaksin government had been overthrown and replaced by a militarily assisted government just before the InterHash. There had been no request for our help in running the country but we began to formulate our plan regardless. It is well known that many of the big decisions made with regard to governing Thailand are made in Hua Hin and we dedicated Hua Hin Hashers were enthusiastic about doing our part.
The H2H3 formed a mismanagement committee to plan this Odyssey of Endurance and began to map out a proposed route for running Thailand. It was decided that the run would begin at the Thai border with Burma to the west and conclude at the Thai border of Cambodia to the east. We wanted to be able to conquer the challenge in a week or less and began to plan our route in a manner that would ensure safety, simplicity, and plenty of opportunity for hash fun and nonsense. H2H3 hashers scouted out a couple of areas on the Thai-Burma border and several on the Thai-Cambodia border. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and so once the ideal starting point was found at a Thai-Burma border checkpoint, a straight line was drawn on the map of Thailand to determine just where near Cambodia the odyssey survivors would plant the flag and claim victory. A recce of the Thai-Cambodia border was conducted by some of our hashers and we found a suitable location. Our hares were warned by local inhabitants of the area to avoid crossing the invisible borderline as there were old landmines still to be cleared on the Cambodian side. We felt that the minefield would add an additional element of adventure and prevent front runners from running internationally without proper visas.
After studying the details of the map of Thailand we felt confident that we had a route which would be challenging but certainly possible to accomplish. We did find one impassable obstacle in our way but simply planned our way around it instead of trying to go over it.
The next step of the mismanagement committee was to invite hashers from around the world to join us. We used the internet, various HHH websites, the renown Asia-Pacific Harrier magazine (International Edition), and the excellent Hua Hin/ Cha Am Observer magazine to advertise the event which took place from the 23 rd through the 27 th of September. As we had decided to attempt to conquer the challenge in just five days, we joined forces with the Hua Cha Hash Pedalers, a young bicycle hash in Hua Hin and Cha Am. Since many of the H2H3 runners and walkers were also Hash Pedalers, we felt we could use tarmac to our advantage and roll swiftly along the first phase of the endeavor. We would complete the first phase where an enduring obstacle prevented further pedaling, then go on to tackle phase two on foot only.
On a sunny September 23 rd, cyclists from all around the world gathered at the Thai-Burma border checkpoint high in the hills overlooking the Thai countryside south of Bangkok and as far west as Thailand goes at this latitude. Foreigners and Thais on mountain bikes, racing bikes and touring bikes crowded the parking area where they adjusted brakes, pumped up tires, oiled chains, drank water and prepared themselves for the miles ahead. When the time came to push off, all riders were facing east and a challenge none of them had ever attempted before. Good news for all of the cyclists was that because we were beginning the journey in the mountains, it would be very much downhill from the start.
After the initial downhill coast on tarmac past forested hillsides, the riders passed coconut groves, temples, rubber plantations, temples, jackfruit orchards, temples pineapple fields, cattle pastures, temples, rice paddies, farmyards, temples and mile after mile of tropical growth on the right and left much farther than the eye could see. What began as a large group of bicycle riders pedaling dangerously close to one another soon stretched out like a river of sparkling chrome and bright colors until the leaders and the slower cyclists were far apart from one another. The cyclists safely crossed roads, highways, dirt paths, railroad tracks and klongs as they made their way eastward to the beach, the first rest stop and the obstacle that would prevent them from continuing onward. The first twenty hashers to complete Phase 1 of the Odyssey included Hollow Legs, Comes First, Space Cowboy, The Mingster, Tangmo. Harry, Jose, Brian, Barry, 69 Forever, Dairy Queen, Tom Jones, Dazzlin’ Maslin, Slackbladder, Domestic Violence, Boring English Kunt, Nigel, Graham, Taipan, Noi, and Ballbanger. Dragging her tail, Dragon Tail coasted to the coast, with her foot on just one pedal most of the time, taking photos along the way. Ice Posse was also in the early lead as she forgot her bicycle and hitched a ride to the beer. Once all of the cyclist were present and accounted for we got really busy decimating the inventory of cold beer at a restaurant which provided most of us with some great Thai food. Slackbladder brought a sandwich since he thinks he does not like Thai cooking. He believes that it must all taste like the stuff his wife cooks for him at home. Ice Posse had some comments about the service but they are unprintable. In the end, Phase 1 was a wonderful experience, and added fuel to the fire of enthusiasm for Phase 2.
Phase 2 of the Odyssey of Endurance commenced the next day. We were done with the bicycles and the survivors would complete the run to the border of Cambodia on foot.
To prepare for the final phase of the challenge, the runners joined hashers from the Pattaya hash for a warm-up training exercise which involved plenty of running up hills and down. This long run on rugged terrain was hared by a couple of Pattaya harriets who demonstrated that they were certainly as smart, strong, deceitful and cunning as any of the guys who lay hash trails in Thailand. All of the Odyssey of Endurance runners passed the test and then did a recce of Pattaya bars for a few hours before calling it a day. Early the next morning we all left Pattaya for the beach south of Trat for the continuation of phase 2 and the run to the Cambodian border. The trail of Phase 2 was done by live hare and began at a car park by highway 318 north of Had Lek where an official Thai-Cambodia border crossing is located. Heading south for less than 10 kilometers, the trail took a sharp turn to the west, ending at a small fishing village and then did a U-turn to the east where it headed uphill through a coconut plantation, crossed highway 318 and proceeded onward and upward to the jungle that conceals the invisible line between the two countries. The trail snaked onward under stormy skies as the rain cooled the overheated hashers dashing through the undergrowth past boulders, trees and waterfalls on their way to the finish at the non-existent finish line.
Leading the successful completion of Thailand’s first HHH border to border cross country Odyssey of Endurance were H2H3 GM Slackbladder, Ballbanger, Dazzlin’ Maslin, Space Cowboy, and The Mingster while Chatterbox and Dragon Tail lagged just a little in case the front runners should stumble into the old minefield. Due to time constraints and space limitations we are unable to publish the names of all of the survivors who completed the odyssey or the names of all of the other hashers involved along the way.
A cross country hash odyssey deserves more than a routine circle after the run and so the hashers went north toward Trat, stopping off for the night to lick wounds and whatever, and to celebrate victory at the Golden Cliffs Beach Resort. The next day it was On On to Ko Chang and a stay at a resort on White Sand Beach. After that the hashers split up to go their separate ways back to Pattaya, Bangkok, Cha Am, Hua Hin, and other destinations in Thailand or other places around the world.
Chances are, the H2H3 will attempt a similar feat sometime later next year. In the meantime, we run every other Saturday in the Hua Hin & Cha Am Area. The Hua Cha Hash Pedalers have monthly trips. Check out www.huahin-hhh.com
